roar

Technology and I don’t get along. Actually, that’s a vast understatement—we DESPISE each other, but not in the cute romcom enemy-to-lovers type way. This is hatred in its purest, most raw form. And now that I’m officially a celebrity author, there are wild expectations of me; the kind of expectations that are on par with computer science engineers who work for NASA during the day, then do statistics in the evenings. FOR FUN.

I was told to make an author website.

I can practically see your jaw drop open in shock. I know mine did. Make a website, they said, in the same breezy tone as commenting on the weather or gas prices.

“You good?” my teenage daughter said later that day, gazing down at me as I lay crumpled on the floor.

“They. Want. A. Website,” I said, my hand over my eyes. “Do I look like someone that can make a website?”

She shook her head. “Sucks to be you.”

But what I lack in computer knowhow, I more than make up for in tenacity. There were hours upon hours of reading “How to…” articles and watching YouTube tutorials, and intervals of sobbing on the bathroom floor. My husband told me to pay someone to do it. My mother told me to have my son do it. My son told me to have my sister do it. My father-in-law told me to have his (other) son do it.

“NO! I will do it, I will figure it out!”

And I did. I conquered that nasty, filthy technology and showed it who was boss. I am woman, HEAR ME ROAR!!!

Love, Heidi